Bijou here! @storyxstyle on insta
I am in charge of art direction and content at Olive + M. This is a pretty intimate introduction but hey, that's what Olive + M is all about. :)
If friends and family were to describe me from age 24 to 33 they would probably use words like driven, assertive, and strong-willed. These adjectives are typically seen as more masculine and with good reason. My thoughts were single focused on goals, the future, security, and competition. I mostly identified with my purpose and project productivity in the world and loved fulfilling my missions.
Looking back I can see how off-balance I was. I was missing traits that would allow one to really enjoy the environment around me like connection, empathy, nurturing, and emoting. I believe that if a woman lives too long in her masculine then she has the potential of exhausting herself, I know I did. The feminine is born to receive whereas I was constantly giving my energy away. I never identified with my feelings and never let myself crave love and true closeness.
We all have access to both masculine and feminine energies inside each and every one of us. We need BOTH to be balanced, but we are primarily born with one dominant form that feels most natural to us. But I, for many reasons was too afraid to let my feminine out to play. I thought that feminine was weakness, sacrifice, powerlessness, co-dependency, over-sensitivity, and over-emotionality so I hardened to compete in the masculine-dominated corporate world. I had no idea that I was really losing some of my beautiful innate power. After a while, I forgot how to be a woman. I forgot how to soften once I left work. This caused me to feel unbalanced, stressed, and stuck. I become rigid and lost my confidence and flow. I held on to that Miss Independent Woman energy and wore it like a mask.
Moreover, if I look back I can tell that I was also attracting more feminine associated men into my life. Men that couldn’t step into their masculine power and meet my needs. They were wimpy, lacked drive, or the assertiveness that I desired. It would always end up creating an unbalanced polarity and sexual attraction would fizzle. Burnout was always guaranteed as I felt constant pressure to strive and prove my equality and independence.
Over the years I’ve been able to take a step back and see where I was lacking. Being a woman is one thing. Embracing, accepting, and using your full potential as a female is something completely different. I dont blame myself, it’s easy to see how growing up in a society where feminine energy is not glorified but rather suppressed, and that demands more masculine energy in us to operate, belong, and be accepted. I now see that the key to harmony is balance between these two types of energies. For so long I was completely unaware of the powerful and magical energy that I carried within myself. For the last year, I’ve been working on activating and awakening the immense, creative, joyful, playful beauty that comes with identifying as a woman.
Now every day I express gratitude for having been born female, to try to explore the powers of my feminine energy, so to discover how I can positively impact the world by being a woman. Here are a few ways that have helped me awaken my feminine soul.
Be open to receiving.
As women, we have the power to receive, amplify, and give back. Give a woman love and she will return it tenfold. Give a woman hate, and we all know what happens. Allow yourself to receive more. Ask for favors and support when you need it, get yourself gifts, pamper yourself, and make receiving a vital part of your experience.
Feminine energy is not about achieving; it’s about co-creating, which involves more flow, more fun, more music, more gentleness, more creativity, and more collaboration to reach the same results. Make sure you are taking time each week to do something creative.
Make light a priority.
As women, we have a huge impact on everyone around us, so making this planet a better place begins with us. Your responsibility is therefore to be a ray of light in the life of others. This is something that needs to be nurtured by you, and doing more of what makes you really happy will help you get to a place where you can bring happiness into other people’s lives.
Enjoy the physical pleasures in life.
Your body is a temple; it is the only way to bring new life into this world and should therefore be treated as such. Do things that feel good physically. Such pleasures related to feminine energy are massages, yoga, low-impact training, dancing, and any kind of free-flowing movement classes.
Activate and allow your playful side to be seen.
Being a woman is all about bringing a special spark and a sense of mystery with you wherever you go! Flirt! With the women in the check out line at the grocery store, the guy that changed your oil, the 80 years old lady crossing the street. A wink, a smile, a compliment in passing. It'll do wonders for that person's day and your own.
The feminine in all of us craves to feel and see the beauty around us and in us. Adorning your space with anything that brings a smile to your face helps nurture this craving. For instance I have filled my home with plants because they make me feel like I live on a tropical island. For you, this can be in the form of pictures, decor, or luxurious fabrics or colors. Bringing beauty to our wardrobe will also help us express the feminine within. Find your own definition of beauty and see how you feel when you express that in your clothing. It doesn’t have to mean you wear lipstick every day, but if rocking a hot shade of red allows you to feel pampered and sexy then go for it. You make the rules.
A day of “no planning” is one of my favorite things to do to step into my feminine. Allowing ourselves to just flow and be in the moment can be one of the most relaxing feelings for the feminine. One day out of the week, typically on a Sunday, I schedule a self-care “free day”. This is where I make zero plans and just allow myself to do whatever I feel like from moment to moment. After a week full of plans it helps me to recalibrate.
When I do these feminine recharging practices regularly, I feel more radiant, replenished and attract my desires more easily into my life. It allows me to step into my masculine energy in business without feeling depleted or hardened. When we embrace our feminine nature, we nurture ourselves and the planet as a whole. It may seem counter-intuitive, but by developing our feminine energy we can actually draw in success to us, instead of constantly feeling like we need to hustle and grind.
I hope you enjoyed this, you should be hearing from me more often. ;)